One of the first things I noticed after we moved into this house was realize I had a love/hate relationship with dark flooring. They are so Gosh Darn beautiful, when they are clean. But the second there is a crumb or a blade of grass on the floor, I see it. Well, not only do I see it, I feel it. Is that cookie crumb tensing up my shoulders and mocking me? Is it yelling ‘Here Mr. Ant, bring your family, I’m over here!’ Yes, yes I think it is.

I found myself vacuuming these floors twice a day… in-between unpacking, working and mom-ing. Yes, there would be an instance or two when I could trick someone else to do it for me, but they were all starting to catch on to my trickery and I could see the revolt in their eyes. We were about to have a mutiny and I needed to do something.

I found myself searching the internet for a solution and time after time my research was bringing me to the world of robot vacuums. I decided to give one a try.

Oh.Em.Gee.

The heavens sang the day my robot vacuum arrived.

When you set up your new robot vacuum, the app asks for you to name the robot. We decided to name him Stephen. Darren and I spent a few minutes discussing ‘ph’ vs. ‘v’. Well, I really was the only one ‘discussing’…I was worried about kids making fun of him and never spelling his name right. But it felt like he needed a more classic, strong, traditional name. Stephen Lewis Schroeder. After Darren’s full body eye roll, the name was official.

We programmed Stephen to vacuum the main level while we were all sleeping that evening. Sweet Mary Mother of Science. When I woke up and came downstairs to clean floors and (kinda) triangles in the rooms with carpet, I wept tears of joy.

Stephens second challenge was after everyone left for school and work. I took Mr. Stephen Lewis upstairs, pushed the magic button and let him work his magic. When I came upstairs a few hours later, I found beautiful lines in the carpet and not a single dust bunny in sight. More tears.

The app is a big part of the awesomeness. I get a map showing me everywhere Stephen went and little stars where the poor guy had to work extra hard.

Where was this beautiful machine my whole life?

In typical Sarah Schroeder fashion, I had to take it to the next level. I ran over to Bed, Bath and Beyond, 20% off coupon in hand and bought a second robot. We welcomed Stephens sister, Rosie Louise, into the family with open arms.

Rosie is in charge of the main level at night and Stephen works upstairs during the day.

Instead of spending my day screaming back at the crumbs, I am now just taking a couple seconds every day to clean out their dirt bin. That’s it, my job is done.  I am constantly amazed by how full their bins get every day. How am I not noticing this big pile of ‘dirt’ coming INTO the house? I’m going to try not to think about that part…

How did I miss this pile of fuzz coming INTO the house