I Can Have Grace AND be a Neanderthal at the Same Time, Right?

There are a few modern conveniences I only notice when they are gone. Most recently this list consists of closed captioning and my microwave.

 
It’s feeling like 1918 instead of 2018 around here and I don’t seem to be handling it very well.

 
I started using closed captioning when Maddie was learning to read. It also helped me feel less guilty whenever I was letting the kiddos watch something that wasn’t educational. Hey, at least they were learning how to read, right? I’m also able to keep the noise down to a minimum. It’s a beautiful thing.

 
Well, something wonky happened to the TV, I probably sat on the remote, who knows what happened and my precious closed captioning was gone.

 
Dude.

 
I couldn’t understand a word anyone was saying. I was the most ancient old lady in the history of ancient old ladies. Please hold while I call the Smithsonian, historical moment here people.

 
The good news is that the girls couldn’t understand anyone either and that made me feel a little bit better, but pausing the TV every 2 seconds to say ‘wait, what’ gets old. Quick.

 
I need to send the inventor of closed captioning a thank you card. She’s a good egg. Well, it’s a bunch of eggs…Julia Child, Bill Kastner, and the Texas Instruments peeps.

 
Let’s move on to my microwave story before you decide I’m a whack-a-mole, shall we?

 
When we moved into this house a few months ago the microwave seemed to want to be my nemesis. It was loud, obnoxious, and appeared to have a mind of its own. For my birthday last month, we splurged and got a new microwave. Let call her Princess, shall we? Well, Princess decided to stop working 17 days ago.

 
Great.

 
So here I stand, with a cup of cold coffee in one hand and a bag of microwave popcorn in the other, completely dumbfounded.

 
Do you have any idea how long it takes to defrost something in the fridge, or actually BAKE a potato?

 
How in the world am I supposed to soften a rock of brown sugar? WTF universe?

 
I like SERIOUSLY have to wait for butter to soften on the counter. Like a Neanderthal.

 
I can feel my great-grandmother rolling her eyes at me.

 
This entire process is teaching us all patience and grace. If one more microwave helpdesk guy asks me if ‘I’m sure’ I pushed the start button or asks me if I’m using the timer instead of the microwave I might just lose it.

 
*breathe Sar*

 
I’m trying to remind myself of this video. It’s one of my favorites and I hope you have a few minutes to watch it. It reminds me that every thing, every day, and every one is a gift. But here on day 17 of our battle with the microwave peeps it’s difficult to remember. I’m trying.

 
People pay extra for iced coffee, right?

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